Final Thoughts!!!

Well, I can see we Roomies are finally easing ourselves back into real life. Just dropping by after a long absence. This may possibly be the last time I post. So I just wanted to say my final goodbyes to all for this great(yet bumpy/frustrating) ride we've been on.

Anyway, I want to go out with a bang. So let's have one more deep discussion shall we. I have a few topics I'd like us to tackle and I hope to get some good feedback.

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him?

2. What was the real reason/motivation for Neela dating Brenner?

3. At what point do you think that Neela realized she had to be with Ray? Was it before or after the break up with Brenner?

4. When exactly did Ray's hospital in Baton Rouge become an option for Neela? Did Ray even know she was considering moving there?

5. Why has it always been so difficult for Neela to express her love for Ray? What made her so afraid? Was he below her standards of what she envisioned for herself?

Hey G-Unit

5 -I don't think that she ever thought Ray was below her standards - come on there was Tony - she let go of any standards there if she had any, plus Brenner even if he was ok he came across a player and the whole I told you so line.
I think she wanted him but was afraid on for so many reasons, maybe it was the friends/ roomies thing, being married to Michael, being with Gates!!!!!!!- those obstacles hey.
I don't think Neela just wanted to spend time with Ray for thanksgiving just as friends- it was was prob to tell him a little that she liked him maybe. Cos she got angry with him being with someone.
Why did Neela go for Brenner - he gave her the attention I'm guessing and she liked it and she was alone and he went to Australia it made him more attractive to her. There was no Ray and Abby. I'm guessing he was there and attractive and liked her.
I'm hoping she knew she needed to be with Ray before Brenner breakup- the whole CD and phone call interruptions. I think I wanted her to know she was pining for him for a long time.
I'm not sure whether Ray knew and when she may of considered Baton Rouge, maybe after the breakup and when she told Dubenko she withdrew her application from County.
I'm not sure but ER is on today and I think it is the one where she breaks up with Brenner.

Even tho ER is over, I still enjoy very much to come on here and have a reela chat, I still talk about my other favorites, it's fun.

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him? I'd say yes, Reela had gotten together in Halloween and all of those feelings were rekindled altho I think they never were lost, they just were dormant, I truly think Neela would of gone and seen Ray that time if Neela didn't take that girl thing to heart, Neela had to overreacted over that and took a step back.

2. What was the real reason/motivation for Neela dating Brenner? Because Abby and Ray just weren't there, there's a guy who gave her attention and she sucked it up.

3. At what point do you think that Neela realized she had to be with Ray? Was it before or after the break up with Brenner? Honestly, I think it was BEFORE, they were dropping hints about Ray on and off, I think Neela getting that cd kinda put a damper on the fling with Brenner, i think that song said it all, Neela was doubting her thing with Brenner already...Besides, this entire season was about Neela growing up, Ray came back into her life but the ball was in her court, if she wanted him, she'd have to make a play for him but haunted was big one for neela, they did say it'd impact how her story played out and it did.

4. When exactly did Ray's hospital in Baton Rouge become an option for Neela? Did Ray even know she was considering moving there? Truthbe told, I think the baton rouge option was always open for neela, it was just a matter of her taking it, but i'd say after haunted, probably. I'd say NO, he looked surprised yet happy..his finally comment was telling, like finally you came to visit me, like finally you're where you should be....also finally in a sense that she was finally in that place emotionally to be able to get into a relationship with ray and stop letting fear get in the way.

5. Why has it always been so difficult for Neela to express her love for Ray? What made her so afraid? Was he below her standards of what she envisioned for herself? Well she did say Fear was what stopped her, when a friendship goes beyond friendship and into love, you really have to watch your step, saying the wrong thing could mess up a friendship. They were roommates/best friends, I think her biggest thing was that yeah she wanted Ray but another thing was her guilt for falling for him while married, two this was uncharted territory for the roomies, she didnt want to lose what made her and ray so great, their bond of friendship and pushing beyond that probably scared her b/c maybe she thought if it didnt work out, the friendship would be gone too..I can understand that tho, falling for your best friend is a very tricky situation and if not dealt with properly, it can blow up in your face, especially with someone who isnt ready for that. I'd say no to that as well, I think Ray was her standards and alot more, her and ray connect on so many levels and i'm sure it's really scared her to be that close to someone.IE Brenner, her and brenner were never close and they started off not even getting to know each other and when it was, neela tried, not brenner and he wasnt open so i can really see why neela was REALLY afraid..She truly didnt want to lose her best friend by taking it to the next level and straight into lovers. but in the end, i am glad she did....

Don't leave---still so much fanfic and vids to go through Will answer questions once life gets a little less hectic...

What are your thoughts G-Unit?!

This is long.

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him?

His girlfriend remark and the sudden departure in 'Haunted' did a pretty good job in sinking her confidence in pursuing a relationship. When Ray came to visit her in 'Haunted,' he was also ready to reignite something with her. Their whole thing of communication before probably added to that desire. When he was telling Neela to "move on" from her guilt and that his accident had put things into perspective, he was on the verge of making that next big move. I feel like that whole thing was premeditated on his part before he came to Chicago. Brenner's interruption caused him to second-guess that and put some other aspects about their relationship into another perspective-- that maybe they weren't as ready as he thought.

As the season began to wind down, we saw how Ray began to subtly indicate his interest in her again- the text messages, CD, phone call, etc. At first, Neela's move to Baton Rouge seemed random to me, that after backing off like that, it was weird that she had done went to him without considering what was going on Ray's side, but in retrospect there were a lot of signals from him that we wanted to start something again.

2. What was the real reason/motivation for Neela dating Brenner?

Becaue he was there and interested in her. I've noticed that, with Dubenko as an exception, Neela tends to respond in some way to men who indicate interest in her. It may take her a while, but she ultimately reciprocates. And, she was obviously attracted to him. She knew him better than she had when he first showed interest in her.

Ray was in another state. She didn't even know if he was interested in her, and cutting short the evening in 'Haunted' and then saying he was dating someone are not exactly the most encouraging things to hear. I don't blame her for attempting to move on or dating someone else. It's a little regressive that it had be Brenner, but whatever.

3. At what point do you think that Neela realized she had to be with Ray? Was it before or after the break up with Brenner?

I think she always knew that Ray was the one. She knew at the end of S13, but Ray became the one that got away. She saw this new change in her job as an opportunity to finally make that big move to be with him. The break-up with Brenner was kind of the last straw, like a "Screw it. What am I doing? I've been dating everybody but the one person I could actually make it work with."

4. When exactly did Ray's hospital in Baton Rouge become an option for Neela? Did Ray even know she was considering moving there?

Again, Ray was already sending signals that he wanted to be in a relationship with her. I don't know if he had the girlfriend when Neela got with Brenner, but it's pretty safe to say that he was single when he sent the CD. He had his own "Screw it" moment and I'm pretty sure if Neela hadn't made the big gesture in the relationship, he would ultimately would have. He probably was planning to, but she beat him to it. He was most likely aware that she was considering attending jobs, but I don't think he knew that she was considering moving to LA.

5. Why has it always been so difficult for Neela to express her love for Ray? What made her so afraid? Was he below her standards of what she envisioned for herself?

Neela and Ray are one of those annoying epic TV stories where they don't get together until the very last scene we see of them on-screen. lol Although, that's to their credit. The really interesting and important plotlines always get that treatment.

In terms of the actual character, she's just always been with some other guy. She was in this weird quasi-relationship with Gallant, and then she married him. The aftermath of his death could explain her reluctance to be with the guy she was developing feelings for while still married. She turned to Tony as some kind of fling, but then she wanted to get serious with him. At the same time, Ray had that thing with Katey. When she realized Tony wasn't possible in the long-term, her relationship with Ray began to develop again.

She has this need to wholly commit to one thing on a clean slate. Because there have been so many men interested in her, it seems as though she's been simulatenously involved with more than one man. The truth is her intention was always to make it with one guy. Like Brenner, she was inclined to use sex to deal with issues of grief or loneliness, but she ended up caring for both men she did that with (Gates and Brenner). If both of them did not have their issues, she probably would've ended up with one of them

The writers probably had a plan to have Ray and Neela get romantically involved at some point, but did not plan on their being the endgame canon couple. It seems like the other men in Neela's life existed as other potential "endgame" candidates or deterences until the real one came along. I don't think they thought about Ray's love life as much.

I don't think Neela expected Ray to be interested in her. It's safe to say that she had an initial crush, but she also had this image of him that she couldn't quite incorporate herself into. I think her crush on him emerged now and again, and then various things in her life distracted her from taking it seriously.

I can definitely see that conversation with Dubenko about her desire to spend time with Ray as the first time she truly realized that she was falling for him-- like "I need to get out this apartment, or else" falling for him. And, then everything went kind of downhill after that. She's always cared about him, probably more than she could admit. She definitely knew she was in love him with by 'Haunted.' And then, after a few months of wacky dreams, Brenner-dating, and George Clooney, she made the big move and they lived happily ever after.

This is unrelated to the questions, but I realized one of my primary complaints in terms of their relationship.

I feel like they should've developed what they had going toward the end of season 12 more than they did. I don't think Ray was meant to be "suddenly" in love with Neela, but I can see how it seemed that way. They should've had a few more episodes of Reela scenes before the big move-out and Gallant's death. They also should've shown how Neela was falling for Ray. Her sudden decision to move out indicates that she return his feelings.

There should've been more in terms of that, because everything in S13 seems to occur on this whole other level. Ray just doesn't have "feelings" for her anymore, he's miserably jealous and extremely resentful. That would make more sense if we had seen his feelings appear in full form earlier. I feel like I had to do a lot of assuming on the part of the characters' motivations to justify a lot of what happened.

jontinf wrote:

What are your thoughts G-Unit?!

This is long.

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him?

His girlfriend remark and the sudden departure in 'Haunted' did a pretty good job in sinking her confidence in pursuing a relationship. When Ray came to visit her in 'Haunted,' he was also ready to reignite something with her. Their whole thing of communication before probably added to that desire. When he was telling Neela to "move on" from her guilt and that his accident had put things into perspective, he was on the verge of making that next big move. I feel like that whole thing was premeditated on his part before he came to Chicago. Brenner's interruption caused him to second-guess that and put some other aspects about their relationship into another perspective-- that maybe they weren't as ready as he thought.

As the season began to wind down, we saw how Ray began to subtly indicate his interest in her again- the text messages, CD, phone call, etc. At first, Neela's move to Baton Rouge seemed random to me, that after backing off like that, it was weird that she had done went to him without considering what was going on Ray's side, but in retrospect there were a lot of signals from him that we wanted to start something again.

2. What was the real reason/motivation for Neela dating Brenner?

Becaue he was there and interested in her. I've noticed that, with Dubenko as an exception, Neela tends to respond in some way to men who indicate interest in her. It may take her a while, but she ultimately reciprocates. And, she was obviously attracted to him. She knew him better than she had when he first showed interest in her.

Ray was in another state. She didn't even know if he was interested in her, and cutting short the evening in 'Haunted' and then saying he was dating someone are not exactly the most encouraging things to hear. I don't blame her for attempting to move on or dating someone else. It's a little regressive that it had be Brenner, but whatever.

3. At what point do you think that Neela realized she had to be with Ray? Was it before or after the break up with Brenner?

I think she always knew that Ray was the one. She knew at the end of S13, but Ray became the one that got away. She saw this new change in her job as an opportunity to finally make that big move to be with him. The break-up with Brenner was kind of the last straw, like a "Screw it. What am I doing? I've been dating everybody but the one person I could actually make it work with."

4. When exactly did Ray's hospital in Baton Rouge become an option for Neela? Did Ray even know she was considering moving there?

Again, Ray was already sending signals that he wanted to be in a relationship with her. I don't know if he had the girlfriend when Neela got with Brenner, but it's pretty safe to say that he was single when he sent the CD. He had his own "Screw it" moment and I'm pretty sure if Neela hadn't made the big gesture in the relationship, he would ultimately would have. He probably was planning to, but she beat him to it. He was most likely aware that she was considering attending jobs, but I don't think he knew that she was considering moving to LA.

5. Why has it always been so difficult for Neela to express her love for Ray? What made her so afraid? Was he below her standards of what she envisioned for herself?

Neela and Ray are one of those annoying epic TV stories where they don't get together until the very last scene we see of them on-screen. lol Although, that's to their credit. The really interesting and important plotlines always get that treatment.

In terms of the actual character, she's just always been with some other guy. She was in this weird quasi-relationship with Gallant, and then she married him. The aftermath of his death could explain her reluctance to be with the guy she was developing feelings for while still married. She turned to Tony as some kind of fling, but then she wanted to get serious with him. At the same time, Ray had that thing with Katey. When she realized Tony wasn't possible in the long-term, her relationship with Ray began to develop again.

She has this need to wholly commit to one thing on a clean slate. Because there have been so many men interested in her, it seems as though she's been simulatenously involved with more than one man. The truth is her intention was always to make it with one guy. Like Brenner, she was inclined to use sex to deal with issues of grief or loneliness, but she ended up caring for both men she did that with (Gates and Brenner). If both of them did not have their issues, she probably would've ended up with one of them

The writers probably had a plan to have Ray and Neela get romantically involved at some point, but did not plan on their being the endgame canon couple. It seems like the other men in Neela's life existed as other potential "endgame" candidates or deterences until the real one came along. I don't think they thought about Ray's love life as much.

I don't think Neela expected Ray to be interested in her. It's safe to say that she had an initial crush, but she also had this image of him that she couldn't quite incorporate herself into. I think her crush on him emerged now and again, and then various things in her life distracted her from taking it seriously.

I can definitely see that conversation with Dubenko about her desire to spend time with Ray as the first time she truly realized that she was falling for him-- like "I need to get out this apartment, or else" falling for him. And, then everything went kind of downhill after that. She's always cared about him, probably more than she could admit. She definitely knew she was in love him with by 'Haunted.' And then, after a few months of wacky dreams, Brenner-dating, and George Clooney, she made the big move and they lived happily ever after.

This is unrelated to the questions, but I realized one of my primary complaints in terms of their relationship.

I feel like they should've developed what they had going toward the end of season 12 more than they did. I don't think Ray was meant to be "suddenly" in love with Neela, but I can see how it seemed that way. They should've had a few more episodes of Reela scenes before the big move-out and Gallant's death. They also should've shown how Neela was falling for Ray. Her sudden decision to move out indicates that she return his feelings.

There should've been more in terms of that, because everything in S13 seems to occur on this whole other level. Ray just doesn't have "feelings" for her anymore, he's miserably jealous and extremely resentful. That would make more sense if we had seen his feelings appear in full form earlier. I feel like I had to do a lot of assuming on the part of the characters' motivations to justify a lot of what happened.

Well exactly, the girlfriend thing, you never heard Ray say, Neela just jumped to conclusions with that..lol

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him?

I believe Neela intended to visit Ray on Thanksgiving in order for him to pursue a relationship with her. Retrospectively we know that there was still a great deal of personal growth needed before Neela would have the assertion/confidence and the drive to actively be the pursuer in the relationship.

In the phone conversation to Ray she demonstrates a wishy washy and round the houses attempt to say she was hoping to visit. She mentions going home to England but that the price was too high for the ticket. Its clear what shes building up to but shes either trying her best to come across as casual/non-committal about visiting Baton Rouge (due to her fears) or shes waiting once again for Ray to take the bull by the horns and invite her up. I therefore suspect the Neela of old would have believed just getting on the plane to BR for Thanksgiving would have been enough of a display of her feelings to have Ray be prepared to do the rest.

G-Unit thanks for generating some discussion.

Ok, I know I usually tend to ramble so I will try and keep my answers brief. Anyhow I think most of what has been said echoes my feelings. America, your answers really hit the nail on the head.

1. Was Neela's intended Thanksgiving visit to Ray an attempt on her part to pursue a relationship with him?
No doubt about it, Yes.

2. What was the real reason/motivation for Neela dating Brenner?

That’s obvious, she was attracted to him. He was available and she thought Ray had moved on. But he was always her second choice.

3. At what point do you think that Neela realized she had to be with Ray? Was it before or after the break up with Brenner?
I’d say she had realized at the end of season 13 that Ray was her first choice. Furthermore, let’s remember when she phoned him, she did not realize that Ray thought she was still playing games so no doubt she was frantic when he didn’t call back. My heart broke for her when she saw Ray in the hospital and then she had to suck up the fact that he had apparently turned to Katey.
I firmly believe she waited all of Season 14 for Ray. That dalliance with Brenner was, as she put it herself, ‘only a shag’.
She only choose to be with Brenner when Ray was seeing someone else and she thought he had moved on.

4. When exactly did Ray's hospital in Baton Rouge become an option for Neela? Did Ray even know she was considering moving there?
Not sure here!
It was probably one of the hospitals she interviewed for in her ‘milk round’.
As to whether Ray knew. It is possible that they had discussed her moving but he really did not believe she would do it. He did seem genuinely surprised when he saw her. So maybe at some level Ray had given up on Neela ever following through but would have maintained a friendship if that was what she chose.


5. Why has it always been so difficult for Neela to express her love for Ray? What made her so afraid? Was he below her standards of what she envisioned for herself?

I’ll answer the last part of this question first. Yes, certainly when first they met, I think he did not live up to this little English girl’s ideal of the perfect man. Let’s face it, he was immature, irresponsible and unreliable. But as time went by they changed each other. She relaxed in his company. He started to enjoy her company and show her genuine respect. They each sought the others approval. In a very real way, they brought out the best in each other.

In terms of the perfect man, Michael ticked those boxes that Ray initially failed to do. He was in the right packaging. He was from a good solid, middle class background. He was handsome, ambitious with lots of potential. He was chivalrous and courteous to his lady, something this little English girl enjoyed. However once you scratched beneath the surface, he put his needs and his sense of duty to his country before his duty to his wife. The fact of the matter is they were not really compatible whereas Ray and Neela were.

What made her so afraid? I think she was quite simply afraid of losing Ray’s friendship. I think whatever feelings both had, their friendship was the most important and the rocky road they went down in season 13 nearly destroyed that.

Finally, guilt was the big bugbear that stopped her expressing her love for Ray but she explained all that in “I don’t.” I think after that Ray was definitely the person holding back and she was afraid to push in case she lost his friendship.

OK! Sorry not quite as short as planned but just had to add my ‘two and sixpence.’

Thanks for the great discussion everyone!

Now that I look back, I think that Ray was the one Neela always wanted and loved. I believe what kept her from expressing her love was that she always felt guilty. She felt guilty for falling in love with him while married so she ran to Gates. She then felt guilty for what happened to his legs so she ran to Brenner. It is interesting that Galwaygirl mentioned that Neela was waiting for Ray all of season 14. I think that Neela's whole depression during that season had a lot to do with what happened to Ray. Perhaps, she felt that Ray could never want to be friends, much less a love interest, with her again. It did seem implied that Ray pushed her away for a while in terms of communication.

I'm pretty sure that Neela was going to see Ray for Thanksgiving to continue where "Haunted" left off. If Brenner had not interrupted, Ray and Neela would have surely slept together that night. I think the whole purpose for that episode was for TPTB to officially show to the audience that Neela was in love with Ray. There had been many questions surrounding her true feelings for him, and I think that needed to be answered before they became a couple. I also liked the way TPTB showed that Ray was no longer a pining puppy and was strong enough to let Neela decide to pursue him.

I'm thinking that Neela may have mentioned that Baton Rouge was one of her options, but I don't think that she told Ray that she had decided on it. Like others have said, Ray seemed surprised. I think for Neela, it was important to show him that she could follow through and that she did love him like he loved her. It was a good continuation of "Honeymoon Is Over" when Ray implied that Neela never followed through on her word.

Peace and enjoy your summer!!!